Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
