She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize