Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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