either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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