but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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