Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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