My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
