It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
