The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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