Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
