i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
