After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
