You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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