We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Bring me that man meat
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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