I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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