real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
