Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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