Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
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