How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
