# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think I just sharted jello shots
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize