Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
