Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
