Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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