So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
