At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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