that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Drake has all the answers
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
