too bad you live with your parents still
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
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