Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
