Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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