I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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