Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
