Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Randomize
