glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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