Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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