handjob tips. give me some.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Everyone says I win the strip club
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize