i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
