Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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