its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just found puke in my bra..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
