she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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