last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
