How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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