i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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