so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
