the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
