Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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