Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
