It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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