Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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