worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
