STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
