They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
