If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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