He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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