I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
