Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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