My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
