So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
