And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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