Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
