are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
