My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
