It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
