Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
