I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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