glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
