areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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