he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
