I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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