Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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