dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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