Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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