dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
