Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
