But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
