I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize