Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize