I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Are we still banned from the library?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize