your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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