i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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