It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
